Thursday, 1 March 2012

364 Days to Go - Fear of Turning 30

One of the biggest fears people have about turning 30 is the thought they'll be old. I'm no different. The thought of watching my face sag towards my chest and my arse start slapping against the back of my knees fills me with dread. But it's not just the vanity of getting old that I fear, it's also the thought of becoming a dull fucker.

Watching my 20s slip away has made me all too aware that I've become stuck in the rut of day-to-day monotony. Being a creature of habit maybe safe, but it's also incredibly boring. I feel the need to shake it up a bit and I don't just mean with gin.

My working day, including the commute and the hanging around, clocks up around 11 hours, leaving me with little time to myself. You would think this would motivate me to get off my arse and use my time wisely, but no, I come home with just food and sleep on my mind, while the thought of doing it all again tomorrow lurks in the background. And come the weekend? Yep, food and sleep are probably the most important parts of that too - as well as a huge helping of music obviously.

Of course, there's another big fear that shakes you to your core as you approach 30 - have I achieved enough? Have I done everything on the list? It's pretty silly really as turning 30 doesn't equal death, but still, there's often a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I haven't achieved enough in the last three decades...

It took me until I was 27 to bother with the business of graduating, I don't own my own home (and have resigned myself to the fact I will never earn enough to do so), I have left Europe only once, I haven't learnt to snowboard yet, I don't have a dog or enough tattoos and I still haven't got into the habit of having my hair cut regularly enough to not spend half of every year looking like a hobo. I've never seen Rocket From The Crypt live, been on a tandem bike ride, smoked a cigar or eaten sushi - although to be honest the last one really doesn't bother me, I just feel it's something I probably have at least had a go at before now.

So, in order to cross a few of these things off the list and prevent myself becoming a sad act before my time, I'm aiming to recapture the fearlessness of my youth. The 365 days I have left before the dreaded 30 arrives are my key to eternal youth (well, almost), a last chance to be bold, be brave and misbehave. I'm making a list, mainly of silly things, that needs to be completed by 1st March 2013 - wish me luck!

Oh, and suggestions (that don't involve nakedness) are always welcome.

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