Challenge #8: Sarah vs Download Festival

This wasn't on my list, but the fact that Download 2012 is the last festival I will attend as a 20-something and the ridiculous weather conditions I had to endure to enjoy it, I'm adding it as one of the challenges.

Two hats, two vest tops, one hoodie, one fur coat 

and one pair of gloves and I'm still cold

As my sixth visit to Download and my 16th festival in total, spending five nights in a tent was almost second nature and the thought didn't phase me at all. Over the years, I've learned the hard way that wellies are a must, a waterproof coat is essential and a strong stomach can mean the difference between having fun and having the shits.

I've survived wet festivals, I've survived scorching hot festivals, but without a doubt, this year's Download was the wettest, muddiest, messiest and the toughest endurance test I've ever faced out there in the moshing fields.

 Wellies + mud = a good workout for the legs

 Mud

It started well, we arrived in sunshine, queued in sunshine, pitched in sunshine and then suddenly, it started raining and didn't stop for about 48 hours. The lush green fields turned into muddy streams and the path we were pitched right next to morphed into what looked like a river of diarrhea, and actually could have been considering some of the things that I've witnessed at festivals.

 View from the tent on Day Two

So as Download transformed into Brownload, just walking about became a challenge and we encountered every type of mud you can imagine. Wet and sloppy, thick and sticky, crusty and bouncy, we waded through it all. It was like being on a cross trainer for five days straight.

 Mission to the toilet on Day Three

There were times when I really didn't think I would make it and on Day Two, stuck in separate tents drinking gin as the rain lashed down, I started to wondered where all the fun had gone. Then, on Day Three, when the music started and the rain stopped for a while, it all started to make sense again. And finally seeing Metallica play a two-hour set and the Black Album in its entirety on Day Four made me forget all of the shitty stuff and want to do it again. Fool.

 It just got messier and messier

 Lucky bastard Danny Lad got to watch Metallica on his birthday

My best friend Steve

 

Team photo: me, Danny Lad and Steve

My Download in numbers...

11.15 on 06.06.12 - the time we arrived
27 - bands seen
15 - bands seen live for the first time
4 - bog rolls used
15,000 (approx) - times I heard someone shout "FENTON, JESUS CHRIST FENTON"
3 - hours spent in Wetherspoons sheltering from the rain
4 - towels purchased to try and stem the leaks in our tent
2 - cheese burgers eaten
2 - jacket spuds eaten
1 - dump taken while there
2 - hours Metallica played for
1 - condom eaten by some drunk dude while queuing to get in on the first day
10 - times I wondered to myself whether condom dude was either dead or in hospital
1 - number of times I later saw the same guy and couldn't believe he was still standing
500 (approx) - times James Hetfield shouted 'YEAH' during Metallica's set
1 - Black album played in its entirety
Shitloads - the amount of people we saw pack up early and leave on the Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday
10kg (approx) - of mud I accidentally brought home with me
07.15 on 11.06.12 - the time we left

"There was this much mud..."

The aftermath. I pity whoever has to clean all this shit up

And would I do it again? Of course, I've started saving for next year's ticket already.

Verdict: WIN!!!

Y is for YEEEAAAAH! (James Hetfield-style)

Urban Dictionary defines Metallica's James Hetfield as having coined the phrases 'FUCK YEAH' and 'WOHOH', although I think the latter may belong to The Misfits... However, it's certainly true he has an obsession with shouting 'yeeeaaahhh', with it creeping into recorded songs, live performances and even while partaking in the old band-to-audience banter.

The habit has even mutated into some sort of plague amongst the crowd, with gig goers unable to resist the urge of joining in with this verbal tic. In fact, if you go and see these guys live, you'll hear murmours of 'yeeeeaaaahhh' uttered compulsively throughout the evening, they just can't keep it in. Currently, there is no known cure for the disease.

If you think I'm making this shit up, check out the 'yeah' counter below...

T is for Tribute Bands

Tribute acts are pretty shit. It's one thing to cover songs from your favourite bands, but to pretend to be them, on stage, for an entire set, well there's something really quite sad about that if you ask me.

Could we call them failed musicians? Probably. I have a mate who once did the sound for the Bon Jovi Experience when they played Manchester. Although they hailed from Birmingham, my friend explained how they had spent the entire evening talking in New Jersey accents, walking round the venue with the swagger of an arena band and generally acting like a bunch of dicks with over inflated egos. Oh dear...

Looking at it from that angle, tribute acts just aren't worth bothering with. However, there are odd moments of genius in the whole tribute act set up. Ladies and gentleman, introducing Beatallica...

Beatles + Metallica = Beatallica 

Giving Beatles songs a metal mash-up, Beatallica mix elements of both bands to create something that is bat shit crazy and hilariously funny.

Band members:
* Jaymz Lennfield
* Grg Hammeston
* Kliff McBurtney
* Ringo Larz (my personal favourite)

Take these awesome song titles:
* 'The Thing That Should Not Let It Be'
* 'Hey Dude'
* 'And Justice For All My Loving'
* 'All You Need is Blood'

And these awesome album titles:
* The Grey Album (The Beatles did The White Album, Metallica did The Black Album)
* St Hetfield's Motor Breath Pub Band

Random fact:
The band were issued with a cease and dissist order by The Beatles' record company, but Lars Ulrich stepped in to lend the band Metallica's lawyer.





If you like this, you may also want to check out Gabba (The Ramones + Abba) and Bat Sabbath (Cancer Bats doing their punk/hardcore take on Sabbath).

Oh and just in case you were wondering, if I had a tribute act we'd be called Bloody Holly and we'd play Buddy Holly songs in the style of The Misfits. Hell. Yeah.

C is for Cover Versions

A good cover version, by definition, is a song transformed. It's what happens when a band has the vision to see past the original, to take a song in a new direction and completely run away with it. I think it's pretty lame when bands can't manage to put their own spin on a song, when they don't have enough character or heart to give it a new personality - afterall, who wants a shitty, second-rate version of the original? No, they'll be none of that here. Come with me and I'll show you five bands who have the vision to make a song their own...


Here's my top five cover versions:


'Whiskey in the Jar' - Metallica
A traditional Irish drinking song taken on by Thin Lizzy back in the early '70s, but completely remolded by Metallica into a meaty beast of a track. And, it's got awesome riffage you can't help but sing along too.


'Hurt' - Johnny Cash
A truly haunting and thought-provoking number by Nine Inch Nails, some say about heroin addiction, some say about suicide. Latterly destroyed in an appalling cover version by Leona Lewis. However, while the original makes for heavy listening, Johnny Cash's take on the track is simply beautiful and he makes it into his own story of a man at the end of his life apologising for his mistakes. If you don't like this you have no heart.


'To Have and to Have Not' - Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards
It's got attitude, it's got swagger and soundwise, it comes with a lot more balls than the original by folk/punk singer Billy Bragg. That's not to say I don't love the original - as a leftie and political song writer, Bragg's lyrics always stand way above the music and always capture the world just how it is.

Check out these prophetic lyrics:

The factories are closing and the army's full,

I don't know what I'm going to do,

But I've come to see in the Land of the Free

There's only a future for a chosen few

'The District Sleeps Alone Tonight' - Frank Turner
The one man acoustic warrior is the maestro of cover versions, effortlessly turning Black Flag's 'Fix Me' and Bad Brain's 'Pay to Cum' from bile-ridden blasts of pure fury into songs that could easily pass for his own. Here, he takes The Postal Service's electronic number, removes the fluff and strips it back down to its bare and beautiful bones. Stunning.


'Immortal' - Clutch
There's making a song you're own, then there's totally re-writing it. Once upon a time, this dirty rock gem was a '70s classic rock, Free-sounding Leslie West (of Mountain) number titled 'Baby I'm Down'. Not only was West ok with it being rewritten both lyrically and musically by Clutch, he helped them do it.


This is part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, find out more HERE.